This post makes more sense if you take into account that the name of this blog used to be, “The Church Agitator.” God moves us to different places as we grow. I’m in a different place now than I was then. There’s a story behind that if you want to read it.
I’ve been trying to find a way to rectify my blog name with my journey, and it’s just not working. I’ve been finding purpose in my disruption, but now I’m following that same path to this conclusion: it’s not about the disruption.
As soon as I figure out how to get my domains fixed, this will cease to be the website of a church agitator. The more I think about that name, the more it bothers me. It’s a picture of someone who is alone, and I don’t think that’s a healthy place to be. You’re somehow gifted with something that nobody else knows in that picture, but I don’t think that’s EVER what God wants to do. Everything that God gives is shared to begin with, and struggle should be shared just the same as good news, joy, and pizza.
I’ve been talking to some people recently who are bonafide rock stars in my book, trying to clarify my own thought process. I’m getting it, I think, and it’s not to define myself as being a thorn in the side of a spiritual leader. Also, the focus is all wrong in that scenario.
I’m rambling now. This post could have just been a short notice, but why would I want to be THAT simple, right?
The good news is, I don’t think more than about ten people have read anything I’ve written, I really haven’t done anything at all to bring attention to myself. Probably hardly anyone will notice. (I just checked: yes indeed. The official number really is “hardly anyone.”) A lot of things that I’ve put to words have relevance, though, so I don’t want to lose those. They’ll be tagged accordingly, and I’ll make a clean break with this old attitude of mine. I think that’s appropriate. Never shrink from being re-invented if that’s what you need.
I’m making a run to make it not about me. I’m trying to quit whining. I’m trying to do things that start good fires, though my flame may be small.